Are you really that surprised Shawn? Are you?
I came home today actually really excited to see my wife. We’d had a great weekend and things were going good from therapy last week. I took Kiki to get her root canal and when I got home I just knew it.
She was holding Miles like she was about to drop him. One leg dangling awkwardly. I had to take him. “Thanks. I’ve really got to go pee”. But she never did. I kept pushing her to go but that’s when I noticed yet another tall boy on the kitchen table so she was forced to own up then. Swears she only had half of that one and that’s it. And that she didn’t need to pee, she was hoping I’d be involved with Miles so she could get over and hide it.
I gave Miles a bath because god knows if I didn’t he’d never get cleaned. His diaper was so full of pee that it soaked through the lining.
I kept my cool as long as I could. Which was fine until I tripped over the heater that was back in the house again for some reason. In the middle of summer. I kicked the heater and walked out.
She fed Miles and put him in bed. Later she asked why if I was so worried would I leave him with her. Actually a valid question from someone still yelling at me. I told her that I was worried. But I knew I had to get out and calm down and he needed to go to bed.
I’m June Kiki and I are driving to Michigan for a week. I’m genuinely fucking frightened to leave him here with her. I feel like she would get drunk, drop him, and never tell me.
I just don’t know what the hell to do. Therapy says to love her through it. To love on her but to tell her that it doesn’t excuse the behavior. A lot of good that does when she refuses to admit there’s a problem then tells me the only reason she thinks she drinks too much is because that’s what I believe.
She’s passed out on the couch again. Now I can take a shower in peace and maybe relax with some TikTok because I crash in bed alone.