My wife and I are going through the end. I don’t write poetry at all but this hit me yesterday and I’d like to hear thoughts and feedback if you have time.
I’m trying to write more and I’ve never been into poetry but I was really feeling it today. I just re-read it and damn near cried in my office
My world shrank today.
Maybe I wasn’t the greatest, but I loved you for you.
We are all going to pay heavily for what you are putting us through.
You said you were unhappy all these years, but I was too.
We had a family, a home, and years of marriage,
you destroyed it like the sun hitting dew.
I don’t know why you feel this way,
but I loved you each and every day.
So did our kids, our family…
but you decided to stray.
You found someone that made you feel things
I thought was my special way.
Even when I found out, I pleaded,
prepared myself,
and fought so hard for you to stay.
Lie after lie.
Death after death.
Hope after hope.
I prayed.
After the pain, trauma, broken trust,
and the faith I somehow found in all of this,
I had to make peace with everything I knew I’d miss.
Your homecooked meals
that filled the air with love from every dish.
The late night cuddles
because I couldn’t stand to let any part of your back go unkissed.
Going around the table asking what our favorite thing was,
and maybe what new things for tomorrow we’d wish.
Now, we get to eat alone.
I get to take medicine just to help me sleep.
I get to take care of our son without you
because his routine change would be too steep.
And when he crawls in bed,
I’ll no longer be pressed against you in pain,
no longer able to count sheep.
But we will move on.
I’ll bury my love in him,
and spend every day making sure he knows he is loved,
even when playing hide and seek without a peep.
My sadness will hopefully one day
turn into hope again.
Maybe I’ll meet new friends.
Maybe I’ll still go to church
and find God where my marriage ends.
Maybe our son will grow up
to know a dad I never had,
but wanted more than anything.
Maybe I’ll eventually find love,
someone who wants to take care of my needs
above everything.
I wasn’t perfect.
But I was here.
I gave it my all even through the fear.
I begged you to stay
and work on it with me.
But it was so much easier for you to leave
by just saying you were unhappy.
We could have kept this family afloat.
We could have held each other in the lifeboat.
But you jumped in.
You gave up.
Started drinking the salt water with your own cup.
I reached for you.
Clawed at the water to get to you.
But you were happier down there
with only glimpses of what could have been
above you in the open air.
My life with you was not full of regret.
I watched you grow,
and break addictions.
I watched you make friends
without any inhibitions.
You were tough.
A bad bitch.
Someone I proudly spoke about
every time someone would let me scratch that itch.
Now I get to try to forget
the only woman I was willing to change for.
It hurts deep down in my core.
But I will move on.
I will teach our son how to be strong.
How to treat a woman right from the start.
But also how respecting himself
must be an art.
I made my bed,
you burned it to the ground.
So we will take it, rebuild,
and make it profound.
I still love you with all my heart.
But now it’s time to dust myself off,
hold my head high,
grab our son’s hand,
and walk to the park.